What's saving your life right now?
I have said this in a previous blog, but I love to listen to Jen Hatmaker's podcasts. At the end of each podcast she asks the guest two or three questions. One she asks every guest is one she credits to Barbara Brown Taylor. I confess I have never heard of this person before listening to Jen. Apparently, I should have read everything she's written. I've added her to my list.
Anyway, the question is this, "What's saving your life right now?" Some answers don't hit home, but most are so thought provoking. My current favorite answer is this one by Osheta Moore, who wrote the book Shalom Sistas,
"One of my manifesto points that's actually really something that I am coming back to is, “We will choose subversive joy.” Theologian Willie James Jennings has this beautiful reminder. He paints this beautiful picture of how joy is our weapon against despair, and despair meaning the brokenness and the heartbreak of the world. I feel like on some level a lot of us are feeling despair over something....So finding joy, choosing to laugh in my moments of when I just want to give into the weight of despair have been really saving my life."
Every time I hear Jen ask this question of a guest I answer it for myself. Sometimes I struggle to come up with an answer, but this school year there has been consistently one answer for me--my husband, Andy.
I've had an incredibly difficult school year this year. 2018-2019 will go down as probably one of the hardest years of my almost 30 years of teaching, and through it all my steadfast, steady, generous, patient, and hilarious husband has been my rock. I know it sounds cliche, but it is so very true.
I just love my husband so very much! Seriously, I'm smitten. Lately when I think about him my cheeks warm and I blush. We've been married for more than 31 years. I met him 32 years ago this month. I love him more and more each day. In a world where about half of marriages end in divorce, I count us as fortunate. I say we are blessed. I'd also say that the marriage we have now has been brought about by hard work.
Our courtship was a whirlwind. We met in June. He moved from where we met in Tucson, AZ, to Coeur d'Alene, ID in September. I joined him in November. From September to November we talked on the phone, but mostly we corresponded with letters and cards. It was from these that I learned who he was. We got engaged that Christmas and married in Canada in February on Valentine's Day. So in eight months he went from a complete stranger to my husband.
Our first year was fun, but also tough. We both moved to an area where we didn't know a single soul. We had no support team, and while that forced us to rely on each other, we also didn't have anyone to advise us on things like how to disagree, how to handle our finances, how to talk through tough things, and how to make big decisions together.
Three years later we started on an adventure that eventually grew our family by four boys who came to us when they were 4, 9, 7 and 8 years old. All from different families. We moved from Idaho, to Michigan, then to Ohio, followed by Connecticut, and now we are in New Jersey.
Side note: when I met Andy, he had lived in Tucson for 22 years. My father moved me A LOT, so someone who stayed in one place seemed like the guy for me. Yep, we moved a lot any way. Guess that's what God had planned for me.
While in Connecticut we went to counseling for our marriage which had been battered by years of children pitting us against each other, hard transitions from moves, and all the things that like to pull a couple apart. Know what we discovered? That we loved each other. So we chose each other all over again, and here we are standing stronger than ever.
And I keep choosing him for so many reasons. I find him to be the most amazing human being. He is a man of integrity and character. He is a good friend and invests in people. He rarely raises his voice and diffuses my "crazy" with humor. He loves me and I know it to my core.
He is one of THE smartest people I know. He knows so much about so many things. Why? Because once he gets on a subject, he researches and teaches himself everything there is to know about it. He is one of those people who loves to read manuals for goodness sake. He taught himself to code and writes these programs that then get adopted by the company he works for.
He is an incredible chef with a refined palette. Which is funny because when I met him he liked three vegetables (corn, peas and green beans) and wouldn't eat pork or any other meats besides beef and occasionally chicken. Our family has enjoyed light and airy homemade pasta, a Sunday gravy that is to die for, and my friends say his carnitas are some of the best they've had. Don't even get me started on his tortilla soup! We went through a luscious ice cream phase too.
He has such a tender heart that he doesn't hide from me. He is the best gift giver because he really listens to you and "knows" you. And being known and heard speaks love to me. My challenge is how to speak love to him. I hope he never has to wonder.
Andy is saving my life right now. What's saving yours?
Anyway, the question is this, "What's saving your life right now?" Some answers don't hit home, but most are so thought provoking. My current favorite answer is this one by Osheta Moore, who wrote the book Shalom Sistas,
"One of my manifesto points that's actually really something that I am coming back to is, “We will choose subversive joy.” Theologian Willie James Jennings has this beautiful reminder. He paints this beautiful picture of how joy is our weapon against despair, and despair meaning the brokenness and the heartbreak of the world. I feel like on some level a lot of us are feeling despair over something....So finding joy, choosing to laugh in my moments of when I just want to give into the weight of despair have been really saving my life."
Every time I hear Jen ask this question of a guest I answer it for myself. Sometimes I struggle to come up with an answer, but this school year there has been consistently one answer for me--my husband, Andy.
I've had an incredibly difficult school year this year. 2018-2019 will go down as probably one of the hardest years of my almost 30 years of teaching, and through it all my steadfast, steady, generous, patient, and hilarious husband has been my rock. I know it sounds cliche, but it is so very true.
I just love my husband so very much! Seriously, I'm smitten. Lately when I think about him my cheeks warm and I blush. We've been married for more than 31 years. I met him 32 years ago this month. I love him more and more each day. In a world where about half of marriages end in divorce, I count us as fortunate. I say we are blessed. I'd also say that the marriage we have now has been brought about by hard work.
Our courtship was a whirlwind. We met in June. He moved from where we met in Tucson, AZ, to Coeur d'Alene, ID in September. I joined him in November. From September to November we talked on the phone, but mostly we corresponded with letters and cards. It was from these that I learned who he was. We got engaged that Christmas and married in Canada in February on Valentine's Day. So in eight months he went from a complete stranger to my husband.
Our first year was fun, but also tough. We both moved to an area where we didn't know a single soul. We had no support team, and while that forced us to rely on each other, we also didn't have anyone to advise us on things like how to disagree, how to handle our finances, how to talk through tough things, and how to make big decisions together.
Three years later we started on an adventure that eventually grew our family by four boys who came to us when they were 4, 9, 7 and 8 years old. All from different families. We moved from Idaho, to Michigan, then to Ohio, followed by Connecticut, and now we are in New Jersey.
Side note: when I met Andy, he had lived in Tucson for 22 years. My father moved me A LOT, so someone who stayed in one place seemed like the guy for me. Yep, we moved a lot any way. Guess that's what God had planned for me.
While in Connecticut we went to counseling for our marriage which had been battered by years of children pitting us against each other, hard transitions from moves, and all the things that like to pull a couple apart. Know what we discovered? That we loved each other. So we chose each other all over again, and here we are standing stronger than ever.
And I keep choosing him for so many reasons. I find him to be the most amazing human being. He is a man of integrity and character. He is a good friend and invests in people. He rarely raises his voice and diffuses my "crazy" with humor. He loves me and I know it to my core.
He is one of THE smartest people I know. He knows so much about so many things. Why? Because once he gets on a subject, he researches and teaches himself everything there is to know about it. He is one of those people who loves to read manuals for goodness sake. He taught himself to code and writes these programs that then get adopted by the company he works for.
He is an incredible chef with a refined palette. Which is funny because when I met him he liked three vegetables (corn, peas and green beans) and wouldn't eat pork or any other meats besides beef and occasionally chicken. Our family has enjoyed light and airy homemade pasta, a Sunday gravy that is to die for, and my friends say his carnitas are some of the best they've had. Don't even get me started on his tortilla soup! We went through a luscious ice cream phase too.
He has such a tender heart that he doesn't hide from me. He is the best gift giver because he really listens to you and "knows" you. And being known and heard speaks love to me. My challenge is how to speak love to him. I hope he never has to wonder.
Andy is saving my life right now. What's saving yours?
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